Happy Birthday HotFuss!

happybirthdaymitchell<3

You're the best. (: I hope that you know how much I love you by now, because it's a whole fucking lot. I really have no clue what I'd do without you. We've gotten each other through everything in the past (almost) two years. You really know everything about me. I WILL come see you. I swear to it. I have to. I can't have this kind of friendship and not ever get to see you in person. I love you and I hope you have the best birthday ever. I'm happy that you're my  friend, and I'm proud to call you my husband and girlfriend. The end.
See you in 365 or less darling. ♥

Finishing because I'm impatient.

15) Write about something you worry about a lot.
I worry about my grades and money (or lack thereof) and my family and friends ALL of the time. Also, one thing that's been bothering me is that my dentists & doctors are one day going to tell me that I won't be able to play my instruments anymore because of my jaw.

16) Upload a picture of your room and talk about your room.
 hi room! This is my main wall. Right now, my room is half packed up to make things easier if we have to move somewhere else before the new house is ready.  I spend most of my time in here on the computer, writing and reading. I like my room. (:
17) Bullet your day.
Well today, I got up, ate cold pizza, went back to sleep, showered, went outside, watched tv, went outside, etc. Laundry and dishes and here I am.18) Post one confession/secret.
I wish I didn't live with my dad full time, but my parents are married, so that's hard. 19) Write about your last birthday and how you plan to spend your upcoming birthday.
My last birthday was nice. I want my next one to be even better though. I have no idea what I'll do though.20) What did you eat today?
4 slices of cold Papa Johns, an apple and a taco.21) How has your life changed over the past year?
Ha. Don't get me started. But, I'm very happy with life right now.22) What made you smile the most today?
La's phone call, and watching The Office.23) Describe what you spend most of your time on.Nextflix, Facebook, Tumblr.24) How was your week been?
Interesting and fun(: I love kids.25) Write a letter to someone you miss. 
Ivy: I just miss you. The end. I'm sorry we never hang out. I love you. I really do. -Harley.26) Write about something you once loved, but now despise. 
You know, I really don't think I loved it at all now that I look back. I just wanted love.27) Where is somewhere you would want to visit?
France, Thunder Bay Canada, Lillington NC, and all over Europe.28) If you had three wishes, what would they be?
To have my life on video to re watch, to never lose the people I have now, to stay happy.
29) Write about any particular habits/mannerisms that you have.
I cut my own hair, I ramble, I play with my hands when I get nervous, when I think about things I don't like I flinch and my right eye twitches, I talk with my hands at all times, I crack my knuckles a lot, I have to pop my back before I go to sleep, If I have a pen I'll write on anything I can find, I sit cross legged most of the time, I can sleep just about anywhere, I'm ALWAYS cold, I'm constantly playing with my hair. I go through phases of being obsessed with different things, I can pretty much give you a timeline of my life based on my obsession at that time. 
30) Where do you think you’ll be in 5 years?
Somewhere I like. (: Well, let's see, I'll be 21, so I plan to be in college and just doing the best I can. 

14) Post your favorite book, favorite movie, favorite band, and favorite food.

Book:
Looking for Alaska by John Green.

Movie:
Life as We Know it.

Food:
Pizza Rolls, ( baked and with hot sauce)

And it doesn't ask for it, but my favorite TV show is The Office. (:

13) What are your plans for the future? Far and near.

Short Term:

• get my intermediate asap, 
• have an amazing rest of the summer
• maintain at least 3.7 GPA with my 3 AP classes, Advanced Algebra II and French II this year.
• get a job  

Long Term:

• I want to be an English major in college, preferably at UK, with a minor in either History or Music.
• I want to be a teacher, but I don't really have an age group preference right now.
• I want to hopefully get married in my mid twenties.
• Be happy. (:

I don't think it's too much to ask for

12) Write about the worst day of your life.

January 30, 2011.

I lost my best friend for the worst month of my life.

End of Story.

I love you La, I'm glad things are better.

11) Write about the best day of your life

You know? I can't really pinpoint the best day of my life. I've had a lot of great days though. (:
pretty much any day that I spend with my best friends and family and I'm laughing is the best day of my life.

9&10

9) What’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to you?
"You know it's going to hurt a little or a lot, since you thought you were, or well were, maybe a little in love with him, still. But you really have to look at the situation.
It really was the best for you two to break up,
He wasn't good for you, and I think the majority of people saw that.
He kind of caused you to draw away from your friends,
You've been cussing a whole lot more since you started dating him,
and I know he made you happy sometimes, but I also know that he made you angry, and sad, and confused.
And you really should feel like that,
when you are with someone you should feel loved, all the time. Even when you do make a mistake, or aren't the best person at times, the person you're with should still look at you are and talk to you with respect, and like you're the best thing in this entire universe.
& I don't think you got that with Parker, not as much as you should anywya.
He is telling your about another girl?
Well, let him.
It will make you stronger.
You're still going to be friends with him?
Good, it shows you're a good person and that you still care.
You're still going to have feelings, you're still going to care. But sometimes you have to move on from the things that are bad for you.
If you really aim for happiness.
Reread the last sentence you wrote.
That's exactly why you're better off without a relationship with him.
& if you ever doubt that, just read that sentence again.
I love you so much Hannah, I WISH I could just do something to get you to see how much you truly deserve.
You'll find happiness one day, the longer it takes, the greater you will appreciate it.
The advice I would give you is to seriously throw yourself into church. I mean, I stopped going to church, even stopped believing in God for a little while, especially after my papaw died. And then when I started going to church again, and went on a youth trip and got thrown onto NCYC by a last second decision, then BAM I meet my soulmate. Seriously, God works in crazy ways, and he really does work.
You just got to be willing to work with him." -Jessica Burk.



"So me and you have been having our ups and downs lately and I hate it. Truth is- I've never been more upset in my life than when I thought I had lost you. You were my best friend. My lady. My Ha. My everything. And I'm really glad to have you back. It was awkward at first, but knowing us, that was to be expected. I love you so much & I never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever want to lose you again(: 


Hey best friend! It's been a day since I posted on your wall! Time for a rant about my love to you(: You're the mayonnaise to my sammich. As I've said a lot these past couple of days, but whatever. It's truer than ever! (: You make me the happiest lady around. We sit around. Act like men. Eat Big Mac's. We're pretty hardcore. We're good together. Like Sonny and Cher! You're strong. Like my Granny. Which is the most AMAZING comparison ever. Just sayin! You know you can come to me with anything. Call me anytime you need me. At any moment. You're my Ha & I love you so much. You're amazing. Don't let anyone ever bring you down[:" -Lauren Burk. 


These girls are my life.




10) What’s the meanest thing anyone has ever said to you?


I'm not going into it.

8) How do you feel today?

Today I feel really content with everything. I'm just chillin' & hoping that my plans for tomorrow work out. (:
I'm happy.

Day 7.

7) Upload a recent picture of you.

Well, so far this summer, I really like the pictures that I've taken, so I'm going to be vain and post more than one. (:

Enjoy. (:
Okay not really.

These pictures just make me feel good about myself.

I love that. 

Day Six.

6) When was the last time you cried? 


I think it was May 21?
Whatever day that I stood up to my dad. 

Catching Up.

4) Write about a period of time in your life where things seemed to be constantly going good.
Last summer.  I just can't really write about last summer, but it was just good. It was a great time for me. Yeah, I had a little 24 hour rough patch, but I got through it easily. I spent it with my best friends and my cousins. It was sunny and warm and lazy. It was just a really really great time.





5) Write about a period of time in your life where things were not so good.
Please see this previous blog post:
http://youmakeherhappy.blogspot.com/2011/05/httpyoumakeherhappytumblrcom.html

The end.

Day Three: If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you want to do?

Honestly? I'd just bum around with my friends. That's when I'm happiest. I don't need much to satisfy me, as long as I'm with the people that matter most to me.

Day Two: Write about the best friends you’ve had over the years.

Well, it's changed a lot but, here we go;

Back in middle school my best friends were always Danica and Lisa. We were really close friends, and we got through a lot of stuff together back then. We started to drift once high school hit, and in January of that year, on my birthday no less, Lisa and I stopped talking. We're just now back to being on good terms, a year and a half later. We've apologized and there are no hard feelings left, which I am grateful for. Danica and I aren't as close but we still talk and hang out on occasion.

Lauren has been my best friend, literally since we were babies. Our dad's used to work together and we live really close to one another. She's just lovely. (:

KRISTIN EMMICK IS BEAUTIFUL.

Jessica and I have been friends since we started school together. She's grown into a wonderful person and I'm so proud to call her one of my best friends. We may have not been as close in middle school, but that hasn't changed anything.

Megan and I's mothers were best friends so we have been inseparable since birth(: I could go into a lot of detail here, but I won't. I love you Megan. I hope you know that.

Kirk is my cousin and we were constantly together when we were little, but then his parents got divorced and we went to different elementary schools so that had a big role in not talking for six years. When we all moved schools in the fifth grade, Kirk and I reconnected and we've been with each other ever since. Kirky is just pretty much one of the best people in my life.

Ethan and I had the same schedule in the sixth grade and we were therefore also inseparable. I can, and have told this boy anything and everything about my life and he's done me the same. We used to like each other, but not anymore. Now we're just mother and son, and best friends forever. We've promised each other that. I love my 6'5" best friend.

Bradley has been in my life since the fourth grade when they moved back here. He's grown out of his really awkward phase and he's totally funny. We have these really intense conversations and I just really love Bradward.

Kyle and I get along fabulously, (: as do Jared and I. I MISS THESE BOYS.

That's really about it. Not to mention my other loves:
Skye,
Mitchell,
Tabitha,
Miranda,
Lauren Brown,

I'm drawing a blank. -.- I LOVE YOU ALL.

Day One: 15 Facts about Me.

1. I'm left handed.
2. I hate sports.
3. My jaw locks up on occasion and pops every time I open my mouth.
4. I wish I had my own library.
5. I keep a notebook with me everywhere I go.
6. I have self-esteem issues that I am over coming. (:
7. I have the best friends in the whole world.
8. I love Mexican Food.
9. I like going to the tanning bed.
10. I want to dye part of my hair blue.
11. I clean for fun.
12. I hate texting.
13. I love summer.
14. When someone compliments me, it lights up my whole day.
15. I'm happy.

New 30 Day Challenge.

1) Post 15 facts about yourself.
2) Write about the best friends you’ve had over the years.
3) If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you want to do?
4) Write about a period of time in your life where things seemed to be constantly going good.
5) Write about a period of time in your life where things were not so good.
6) When was the last time you cried? 
7) Upload a recent picture of you.
8) How do you feel today?
9) What’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to you?
10) What’s the meanest thing anyone has ever said to you?
11) Write about the best day of your life.
12) Write about the worst day of your life.
13) What are your plans for the future? Far and near.
14) Post your favorite book, favorite movie, favorite band, and favorite food.
15) Write about something you worry about a lot.
16) Upload a picture of your room and talk about your room.
17) Bullet your day.
18) Post one confession/secret.
19) Write about your last birthday and how you plan to spend your upcoming birthday.
20) What did you eat today?
21) How has your life changed over the past year?
22) What made you smile the most today?
23) Describe what you spend most of your time on.
24) How was your week been?
25) Write a letter to someone you miss. 
26) Write about something you once loved, but now despise. 
27) Where is somewhere you would want to visit?
28) If you had three wishes, what would they be?
29) Write about any particular habits/mannerisms that you have.
30) Where do you think you’ll be in 5 years?

I miss these people!

JessicaAnn;

she's lovely.

KristinCheyenne;

I'M IN YOUR CLOSET.

PoisonIvy;

I just miss you.

Kirky(:

Bradward!

Ethal. (:

These are my main ones, but I'mma throw in Kyle, Jared, Sarah & Liv too just because they're wonderful.

The Lady & I.

This is my sappy post about La. (:

Truth be told, she is still what I consider my best friend. Sure, we've both gotten closer to different people in the past few months, but when I look back on it, she's my best friend. Sometimes I feel like we've drifted, and it's no lie, things aren't like this time a year ago. But that's okay. Wanna know why? Because the other day when my dad wouldn't let me go over to her house and I called to tell her all she said was "I haven't seen you in forever. I miss you." I kind of wanted to cry because I'm overly emotional and she's got a heart of stone, but I didn't. I just really missed being inseparable with my best friend. BUT! She's coming over tomorrow. I don't even know how long it's been since she's stayed here. I'm excited for some time with here to just be stupid and talk again. I love her very very much and I'm so thankful that I've got a friend like her in my life. 

So now, enjoy some random photo's of previous stupidity!

Mother Monster.

I'm on a Gaga spree, so I've decided to show you my favorite performances of hers. (:
Enjoy Little Monsters.

Speechless.

Edge of Glory.

Poker Face [ in French ]

2010 Grammy's [Poker Face/Speechless/Your Song] feat. Elton John.

2009 VMA'S [Paparazzi]

"&inthatmoment,wewereinfinite."

Today was one of the best days of my life.

I did absolute shit during said day, but it was amazing.

I went slept in, I went to the tanning bed. I went to the library. I played with my dog. I ate some ice cream. I started and finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower today. In that book, the main character, Charlie, talks about this one tiny moment with his friends, and they all feel this way. They feel infinite. Not only did I read that book today, but I learned what it was like. To be infinite. 

I was just riding along in the golf-cart as my little brother drove up and down the yard, the hills and the driveway. I had my legs propped up on the front, and I was clutching my book so it wouldn't bounce out. We ended up stopping to visit our grandfather, Pappy as we call him. We sat under the shade trees in his front yard, in the patio chairs. We ate Popsicles and just talked about things that we liked. I had forgotten how much I missed him. Then, as my bare feet combed through the grass back to the golf-cart, I looked around. Sunshine was bouncing off of everything. My thighs were pink, and my cheeks were warm. Duckling took me for the bumpy ride down to our own driveway, and I knew then. I knew, I was infinite.

I feel like in that moment, something just came up and smacked me dead in the face. It didn't hurt, no, but I feel like it was a very big turning point for me. One that told me that yes, things will be okay. That I am happy. That I will be. I want to cry tears of joy.

I want everyone to know this feeling.

this is who the fuck i am.

This is me, in all of my glory, my shattered and scarred glory. I call it that because of how far I've come in life throughout just the first two years of high school. I've been to the edge of sadness and and sank into the depths of depression. I have been sucked into the tornado that is anxiety. I have been emotionally battered by all kinds of people that should have been there for me. But you know what? I came back from all of that. That is now, and always will be the thing that matters most to me. I know now what I can take. I stand up to people that do not treat me right. And now, my only other goal than to stay stable and healthy, is to help. I just want people to come to the realization that I did. That I was better than all of those horrible things, and so are you. You are better than the nasty things that they tell you in the halls and message you online. You are better than the thoughts you think during the night before you fall asleep, those thoughts that cause the dam to break and the tears to fall. You're better than the razor blades  staring back at you in the bathroom. I've been there, and this is my job, to save you from yourself.

I consider myself lucky. I have been able to almost fully bounce back after all that has happened to me. I have learned that people will always judge and hate. And you will almost always get hurt because of it. But what I've also learned is that you will not get positive in life if you care so much as to what they think of you. Do you know why? Because this is who the fuck you are. No one will ever have the potential to be what you are. Don't be a waste of the beautiful person you will become. Life gets hard, but you have to stick out for those good times that we all live for. That's all potential is, sticking to it when things get hard and coming out on top. You can do this, and I'll do my best to help. Be who you were meant to be, no one else can.