What's to say? People come in and out of your life all of the time. You need people to function. You love some. You hate some, you don't care about others. Actually, you love a select few. You need them. They need you. You miss them just as they've left and they can make you happy just by telling you "Hi" in the hallway. Then there are your best friends. They keep you going. They keep you smiling. Then there are the people you live for. The ones that tell you how much they love you and they need you and they tell you everything. Then there are the people you're so head over heels in love with that you'd do anything -anything for them to just be happy in some way. You wish that they'd be happy with you, but you'll take that risk, just to see them smile that smile that lights up the sky and makes your heart beat a thousand times faster but at the same time the world seems to slow down. Yeah. That person. I hope you all find them. Like someone just told me, there are going to be bumps in the road, there are always bumps, but things will work out. Here's how I look at it; If you's supposed to be together, you will be in someway. & If not, you're hearts gonna break for a while and then the person that you're supposed to be with is going to come along, pick up all the pieces, duct tape them back together and keep it safe forever. That's how life works. People come in, and people walk out. You meet some unforgettable ones, and you meet some that you'll spend hours trying to figure out where you've met them at. To someone you're just a stranger in the crowd. And to someone else, you may end up being their Waldo. They'll spend all day searching for you in that crowd. And when they find you, their eyes will light up like it's friggin' 4th of July outside because you mean that much to them. You're someone's world. The person you're going to fall in love with is walking around this planet right now. Go find them. Because I need someone to prove that I'm right here, because I don't really think I know if I am right now. 

I miss you. & There's not a thing that I can do about it.

Singing In the Rain;

Or Snow in this case? Yeah, this is for you Kristin. You're my lady that I love and I miss, and I hate that creeping this makes you sad. Did you know that you're beautiful? Yes you did. Because we tell you everyday, and you deserve the world because that's just how much you mean to all of us. You're honestly one of the best people that I've ever came across in this world. I miss you so much. We need to make time to hang out because you mean a lot to me and you're always here to talk to, and I don't care what you say, you give amazing words of advice. I miss being twins back in middle school. But hey, things happen, and we always feel the same way about not seeing each other enough. & I like to creep you during band season because I think that you make color guard look so effortless, even though you work your butt off for it. But yeah, in short, you give me hope in life, Kris. I don't know how to describe it. You just do. You've overcome so much, and you stick life out for those little moments with your friends that you can't stop smiling, -those are what we live for. You've taught me that it can only get better. & If you ever need anything; I just need you to know that you can come to me, no matter how longs it's been since we've gotten to talk or do anything. I like to help people and I love you. I miss you darling. I'm thinking you should come over for my birthday or something? (:

"Good morning Kristin.

I'm tired. But it's gonna be a good day, because you're beautiful, alive, and nothing can get you down! 

Now smile!" ♥ Don't ever loose that smile, beautiful.

You shine brighter than anything in this world.

Make It Stop.

I don't know what to write about anymore. I'm just frustrated. I'm tired of empty promises. I want a life. I want to go out with people. I want my dad to talk about things other than work and contracts that will expire a few years down the road, once again, leaving us in the middle of a strike scare. I want my mom to not have to beg us to be happy. I want to be able to stay on the phone for hours and not end up getting lectured over how I don't have any self restraint because all I do is sit here. I don't drink, in fact, I hate people that do drink. I don't smoke or anything like that, and I don't have sex or have bad relationships. So tell me, how is sitting here and talking to people that need you and make you feel loved such a bad thing? I mean, they're my family and I love them, but sometimes I need away. Like a vacation. Just with my best friends, so we can all vent about things. I know that I can't be easy to live with either, so when I go somewhere for the weekend, they've got to have a break too. I'm tired of my dad making these plans and statements about a house that I've been waiting for since I was eleven. And yeah, sometimes I do get tired of people telling me everything because  yes, it does stress me out, but I've learned how to handle it. I worry over everything and this is the only place I feel like I have left to spill my guts, even though I know that people read it. Even my mom does sometimes, but it's a free world, and I'm the one who's posting all of this crap, it's here for someone to read it. I don't know what to write about anymore. I've already said that. Tabie's right. Make it stop. My brain is a mess. I want things to be simple again. Is that so hard?

Apparently.

"I miss him. I don't want to miss him." 

"Well, we're in the same boat, with different boys and different situations." "We're always in that damn boat. I want to talk on some random island and live in a beautiful house with them and you"

I love you Tabitha. You keep me going when things are crap. 

I’m in one of those moods that nothing is really wrong in my life,

 but my brain keeps on insisting that there is. Or maybe it’s my

 heart that’s doing the insisting. I can’t really tell. You know 

that feeling? 

Yeah. That quote is just kind of my life right now. I'm tired. I'm tired of sitting in this freaking house everyday not being able to do anything. I'm tired of sitting here wanting to scream my heart out to the world, but feeling like my lips are sewn shut. I'm tired of tip toeing around my own house trying to not make everyone mad. I'd like to just say screw you, and walk out one day, and do what I actually want to for once. & I'm kind of dreading this summer. Because I know how I'd like to spend it. & I know how I'm probably going to spend it, which is sitting here. Doing nothing. Because they won't let me do anything. Which needs to die. I want to be an actual teenager for once. I want to stay at my best friends houses for days and never get any sleep and run around screaming like we always do. I want to waste days on end doing absolutely nothing with my boyfriend, because that's how we like to spend our time. I want to go visit Che. 

Is that so hard mom&dad?

I'm on a leash, and you're choking me with it. 

When are you going to see that?

I'll tell you what I want.

I want to be a teacher, either music, English or history. I want to have a cheesy romance story and then end up with a crazy family. I want a lot of kids. I want to dye my hair some stupid color at least once. I want a matching tattoo with my best friend. I want to figure my brain out. I want to know if I'll stay in band. I want to have straight A's for once, but I know that's not going to happen. I want to waste everyday of my life doing nothing with the person that I love. I want that, but do you know what else I want? I want to help people. & For once, to believe someone when they tell me I'm beautiful. 

♥

Truth is, sometimes you scare the shit out of me. You make me feel as if I’m not alone. Yet, I know any minute you have the ability to rip that feeling from me. Truth is, I love you, & that in itself, is scary enough. <3

You know what?

People amaze me. They really do. This post goes out to my Other Mother, my Freshman Year English Teacher, my Writing Club teacher, and one of my best friends, Lisa Midkiff. This lady has basically gone through hell and back, and she's one of the strongest people I've ever met in my life. We can talk about anything and everything together, and to be honest it'd make my day if we had a lunch date. I love that she feels open enough to talk about the details of her life with her students, and then have the few of us that really love her read her blog like it's the greatest novel ever. So Mother, this is for you. For showing me that it's okay to open up to people, and that sometimes our methods of coping aren't always the best for us. For being you and only you. I love you.

You're the best.

Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise, Mother.

You're an Angel, I'm a Devil,

But we'll meet somewhere in between;

heavenhellorthebedroomwe'llmeetsomewhereinbetweenthesheets.

Okay, Harley's gonna try and be more positive, because all of this negative energy upsets me and makes me tired. I need to fix this being anti-social business. But really. I haven't left this house in over a month and that was when I spent the night with Jessica and we went to go see Tangled. That was pretty great. & I really miss spending 24.7 with my Lady La. I think I'm going to try and go over there this weekend so we can have a Glee Marathon. Oh! I think I'm going to go get my new clarinet Friday after school? Because dad is stupid and didn't take me today. He makes me so mad. That makes me a happy lady. 

Things that need to happen:

1. Plan some sort of birthday party. (: [January 24, don't let me down.] 

2. Weekend with La.
3. Spend all night ranting about life and doing nothing with my Poison Ivy.
4. Actually hang out with my KristinCheyenne♥ We need more than Facebook every once in a while.
5. MickeyD's date with Lilija. In our pajama's. 

6. Spend an entire weekend watching lame movies and taking creepy pictures with Parker.
7. Practice for my playing test! [let's see how that goes. o_O]

8. Don't fail the second semester of my sophomore year. (:
9. Relearn piano, yeah? That'd be nice. 

10. Hunt down my Cala LeeAnn and hug her! 

I don't know. I try to be a happy person. I really do. I don't know why I let the world get to me like it does. I think I just need to remember to breathe. Which, I can honestly say that I have forgotten to do at some point. I just stopped breathing and then I was like "GAH! I'M RETARDED" Yeah, don't judge me. 

Have I mentioned that yesterday was a snow day and it was completely fantastic. Wanna know why? Because I'm on the phone with Parker and all of a sudden he was like "How much would you love me if I told you that I was about to pull into your driveway?" "A lot? Why?" "Because I am.." "What?" "Yeah." & Then mom was like "Hannah, you're boyfriends here!" "OH MY GOD, YOU'RE ACTUALLY HERE!" "YES, WHY DIDN'T YOU BELIEVE ME?" It was pretty great. And then I sat on Facebook and talked to Lilija afterwards. She's such a nice lady. People think it's so creepy that one of my best friends is an 11 year old, but she doesn't act 11. She's pretty much just amazing. I need to upload those pictures from yesterday.  Oh, and for the past three days, I've woken up to 99+ notifications. I love it. Being creeped makes me smile. I'm weird. I know. Love me anyway. :D

I'm just saying, but school needs more dress up days. I wanna nerd day, and a crazy hair day, and just a day in general that Megan, Parker and I can be our true identities!

I have a food baby here, but you know, we're kind of best friends. (:


New Profile Picture. (:


(:


I love them. WE'RE HAVING A PHOTOSHOOT IN MARCH.

CREEPER.


There's two more of these.

Of just him. 

(:


Lullaby. ♥


My Lady. ♥

Harley&Ivy.


Ivy made me an Elephant. (:
I was freakishly happy here.

Okay, I'm done here. I love you guys. I'm a happy Ha for now.

I AM IN LOVE WITH GLEE'S VERSION OF BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY.
I mean, what? ;P
Later.
♥

Oh, Ivy left this on my wall, it's cute. (:



I'm done now. 

Promise.