Make It Stop.

I don't know what to write about anymore. I'm just frustrated. I'm tired of empty promises. I want a life. I want to go out with people. I want my dad to talk about things other than work and contracts that will expire a few years down the road, once again, leaving us in the middle of a strike scare. I want my mom to not have to beg us to be happy. I want to be able to stay on the phone for hours and not end up getting lectured over how I don't have any self restraint because all I do is sit here. I don't drink, in fact, I hate people that do drink. I don't smoke or anything like that, and I don't have sex or have bad relationships. So tell me, how is sitting here and talking to people that need you and make you feel loved such a bad thing? I mean, they're my family and I love them, but sometimes I need away. Like a vacation. Just with my best friends, so we can all vent about things. I know that I can't be easy to live with either, so when I go somewhere for the weekend, they've got to have a break too. I'm tired of my dad making these plans and statements about a house that I've been waiting for since I was eleven. And yeah, sometimes I do get tired of people telling me everything because  yes, it does stress me out, but I've learned how to handle it. I worry over everything and this is the only place I feel like I have left to spill my guts, even though I know that people read it. Even my mom does sometimes, but it's a free world, and I'm the one who's posting all of this crap, it's here for someone to read it. I don't know what to write about anymore. I've already said that. Tabie's right. Make it stop. My brain is a mess. I want things to be simple again. Is that so hard?

Apparently.

"I miss him. I don't want to miss him." 

"Well, we're in the same boat, with different boys and different situations." "We're always in that damn boat. I want to talk on some random island and live in a beautiful house with them and you"

I love you Tabitha. You keep me going when things are crap.