'Cause you & I are Changing with the Seasons,

So, since I won't be able to talk next week after getting my tonsils out, I may as well get used to making long & obscenely cute posts. (: 
Even though only Jessica and Chelsea creep this. Here ya' go guys. 

Medicating Perfection, Now that's a Mistake,thespillcanvas.♥
 
So, Jessica brought up a very good point to me earlier; Parker is the only person who's ever gotten me to be able to calm down enough to stop making death threats. & I made it three and a half days straight & then another full one. I was happy. He makes me happy. He makes me not want to be like this anymore.  & That gives me hope that I can finally get away from all of the darkness that's been eating at me for the past three years, and almost swallowed me whole last year. I'm ready to finally let go the rest of the way. I realize how much good has come from making all of those changes almost a year ago. I realize that I now have everything that I need, and so many people that love me. Sometimes I wish I knew what was wrong though. Sometimes I wish that it wasn't so complicated for people to know me and how I really am deep down.

I want to start..I don't know..I guess being me? But I am me. All of the creepy, weird things that I do are really me, maybe I just want to stop hiding the fact that I'm so broken. Well, I don't guess I'm actually hiding it. More like, just not talking about it openly with everyone. Because if people didn't know that something was wrong back last January they must've just been completely out of their minds.  I don't like remembering all of that. In fact, I hate it. I can't stand it. I think about all of those things and I get sick. My right eye twitches for about half a second, so that I notice it's happening but hardly anyone would think anything of it. That's when my life completely fell apart and I had two people left that knew everything and stayed to help me build it back up to where it is today. Jessica & Parker.  If it wasn't for them, I honestly don't know where I'd be. & This summer when Parker walked out? That was all Lauren. Those Burk girls keep me alive. & That boy could hurt me as many times as he wanted, and I wouldn't ever care. Probably because we were all each other had for a long long time.

This post is pointless and kind of sadistic sounding now that I've read over it. At least the second paragraph is anyway.  -Sigh-
But that's my brain guys; Take it or leave it.

i'msick&tiredoftryingtohidethemessthatiam.
♥