Maybe I'm Tired of Faking it, you know?

So yeah, I'm just going to rant about me, myself and I. (:
I really love mayonnaise. My mom is one of my best friends. I stalk Xanga & SixBillionSecrets religiously. I secretly like it when Parker attacks me with a tickle fight. I like kisses on the cheek and a hug from any of my guy friends makes my day 100% better. I wore make up everyday of my life from when I was 12 to almost 15 years old and now I just don't give a crap because I'm me, and that's the end of it. I like that I'm overly blunt with people, sure some can't stand me because of it, but to me it's better than saying a bunch of worthless crap that you don't mean. I like to give and get random compliments in the hallways. I leave post-it notes on lockers and in library books telling people that I love them and I think they're beautiful. I eat pretty much all of the time and I can't sleep with my closet door open. I have organize dirty dishes before I wash them and I hate milk. I like to conjugate French verbs and watch Disney Movies. I also like to fantasize about the Zombie Apocalypse with Lauren, Max & Parker. Sometimes I really hate the clarinet and wish that I had the will power to play sax full time. & Then I can't stand to play the piano because I get frustrated because I can't play what I want to or how I want to. I wish that I could play by ear. I've had the same pair of blue Converse shoes since I was 13 & the same green jacket since I was 12. I've been hurt a lot, but I still like to love all I can when I have the chance. I got bored this summer and dyed a strip of my dark brown hair with peroxide and now it's this really weird orange color that I hate. I'm kind of afraid to get my tonsils out next week, but I'm glad that La & Parker are coming to see me at the hospital after school. Yes, Parker has hurt me before but as of right now, he's what keeps me happiest in life, and I needed that. I think Lauren is the best friend that I could have. Summer is good for me. I miss it. I miss marching season. I miss Freshman year, Sophomore has gone too fast. I got screwn over on my 15th Birthday by two people that I thought were my best friends. I could listen to Mr.Brightside on repeat for a lifetime and not get tired of that song. I miss Max. I wish that I wasn't so angry all of the time. I wish I knew why I was the way that I am. But, I try to love life, it's all we've got. I like that I'm Harely Quinn and Parker's The Joker and Megan is Poison Ivy. I like where I'm at right now. I miss Nicholas. But you know what? I'm getting there, and that gives me hope, because I've got people that won't let me forget that. ♥