Make Me Feel Like I'm Worth Something.

So, I'm sitting here like usual on Facebook with Blogger open because that's just about the only thing that my life consists of. But anyway, that's not the point. The point is: Lauren Brown is one of the strongest people I know. And Parker Findlay makes me one of the happiest girls alive. And I'm really really sick of not talking to Lauren. God. It just frustrates me so much. I'm tired of lying. It's pretty much been the worst past eleven days of my life without you next to me all of the time La. I mean, I have Ivy, & Kris, & Jess & Lilija. But they're not you. They can't ever be you. I tell Parker every scatterbrained thought that ever enters my mind and he goes with it, but it's not you. He doesn't come up with something as equally great as you would and then turn it into some elaborate plan for the future and therefore one of the best inside jokes known to mankind. I love that boy. I love him to pieces. I love him so much that it drives me crazy sometimes. I love him so much that I'm going through all of this and he was the one that was telling me to chose you over him. And the point to that was that I miss you. And I love him. Those are about the only two things that I'm sure of right now. 

I've got three friends in the same school as me, a sickly eleven year old best friend, my boyfriend, and this blog. That's about it. I've got all of these crazy plans to live out. I want to do them. 

And I'm about 112% sure that I want them to be with him. 

ever have that one person in your life that you just can't give up on, the one person that can screw you over time after time, yet you always seem to give them another chance? And no matter how many times you say this is their last one, you know it's a lie because there's always just one more waiting for them. The one person you know you're better off without, but you can't find a way to let them go because deep down inside, you wouldn't know what to do without them. The one person you know doesn't deserve you, but yet you choose to overlook it because you love him. yeah? well, hes that guy for me.

there will come a time in your life when you become absolutely infatuated with a single soul. for this person, you'd do anything for and not think twice about it, but when asked why... you have no answer. you'll try your whole life to understand how a single person can affect you as much as they do, but you'll never find out. and no matter how badly it hurts or how badly you hate it, you'll love this person for the rest of your life without regret.

I felt something catch in my throat, a sudden surge of sadness that caught me unaware. it almost managed to take my breath away. that was the thing; you never got used to it. you never got used to the idea of someone being gone. just when you think it's okay, and you think you've accepted it, someone points it out to you, and it hits you all over again, and it's just as shocking as the first time.

 I think best friends are the ones who've  been through what you've been through.  They understand where you're coming  from & where you're going. It's always  a challenge to stick by a friend who's making choices we don't agree with & are sometimes  even dangerous, but it's at these times  that are best friends need us the most.
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there's a point in your life when you know who stays forever, and who's just around for a while. people change, but so do you. sometimes for the best, and sometimes for the worst.bad things happen to everyone, you're not in it alone. people lie, and some people just don't care how you feel. your heart beats, no matter how much pain you're in. everything will be okay..eventually. there are always people in your life that just make your day, no matter the miles. i know about distance. i've been dealing with it all my life, don't tell me it's easy, because it's not. but it's worht it. i'd rather keep in touch with the people i love, than just drop it and forget about it. you don't forget the ones you love. it doesn't work like that. give it all you've got and live your life to the fullest. people would kill to be you, have what you have, someone always has it worse off than you, but that doesn't mean you dont count.